How to Ask For Writing Feedback (And How to Give It)

overhead shot of the hands of several people working at a table

Getting helpful critiques of your work is one of the single most important things you can do to grow and improve your writing. However, sometimes getting feedback can feel daunting— whether it’s because you’re nervous about it or worried people are going to be mean.

But not asking for feedback is going to hinder your growth! So, here are some quick tips to make sure you’re getting feedback that will actually help you.

How to ask for feedback

These 3 things are my secrets for soliciting useful feedback and using it to improve your work!

Be specific in asking

It’s important to know what kind of feedback you’re looking for. When you first start out, this might seem hard to figure out. But you probably know more than you think. Do you need help with the beginning or ending? Is your language clear?

One of the best questions is: what’s working and what’s not? Even more specific: Can you give me 3 things that could improve in this piece?

Ask the right people

Don’t ask advice from people you don’t want to hear it from. The right people are kind, want to see you grow, and have the knowledge to help you. So maybe don’t ask your adoring mom for advice but that poet you see killing it on the mic every week might be a good ask.

It’s also important to respect people’s time though, which is why it’s important to know what kind of feedback you’re asking for. A specific question is more likely to get an answer. 

Take it with a grain of salt

The revision process is also an artistic one. Not all feedback is worth taking. A lot of it is about your voice and figuring out what you want the piece to look like, not just taking any change that anyone throws your way.

Asking the right people, specific questions can help make your feedback useful. But at the end of the day, it’s still your work of art.

Related: How To Revise Your Poetry On Your Own

What does helpful feedback look like?

How do you know if you’re getting good feedback worth listening to? Also, how can you give good feedback when you’re inevitably asked?

Don’t be a jerk

The golden rule definitely applies here, revise the way you would want to be revised. Except, sometimes, the way you would revise your own work is not at all how someone else wants their work revised, so it’s important to be as kind as possible in all instances.

Ask them what they’re looking for

One of the ways to make sure you’re giving good advice is to ask the recipient what they’re looking for. (They should ask you, but alas, may not). Knowing what kind of feedback they’re open to makes it easier to give them useful notes.

Focus on questions rather than prescriptions

Unless the person has specifically asked you for hands on, prescriptive feedback, questions are your best friends, or “I wonder statements.” In writing (and also life), framing your feedback as as question can help make it feel like a conversation and make the process feel better for both parties.

  • “I wonder what the piece would sound like if you tried this ….”

  • “Why did you make this choice in the piece?”

  • “Would you be open to rearranging these stanzas?”

Again, a lot of this can be dependent on the type of feedback you’ve been asked to give.

Here’s an interesting article from Harvard Business Review about giving feedback in the workplace (which you can use throughout your life too)!

Interested in more tips on writing and revising?

If you’ve found this post helpful, consider signing up for my newsletter! I send it out once a month full of other writing tips, musings, and other fun things. 

You can also follow me on Instagram or Twitter (until it inevitably implodes).

About the author

Abby Bland (she/they) is a nonbinary writer who also straddles the line between comic and poet in Kansas City. Her poems have appeared in numerous publications and she regularly produces shows in the KC area. 

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